tarry and be still...

"love never gets tired... only people do...
whenever i get tired, it doesn't mean that i don't love anymore...
i just need a rest so that...
I could come back to even love you more..."

yes, love never gets tired only people do... i know how to love but now i am tired of doing so...
why? for almost all the time people kept me waiting... waiting for answers, for reassurances and most of the time for NOTHING!!! Oh! how angry i am for people who could guiltlessly carry on with their lives without even thinking that they left someone painfully waiting for them... it just pains me that all the time i have to be hanged floating in mid- air... desperately praying that somehow someone would catch me or that someone is kind enough to keep me planted on the ground... it just pains me that i don't understand why i have to depend on someone as if it were my only salvation from losing sanity or myself... i don't understand... maybe i'm just so used of people making me wait alll the time so i now i don't know the difference at all... i don't know... but now i am tired of waiting...

"If You Forget Me"

by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:

if I look

at the crystal moon, at the red branch

of the slow autumn at my window,

if I touch

near the fire

the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body

of the log,

everything carries me to you,

as if everything that exists,

aromas, light, metals,

were little boats

that sail

toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly

you forget me

do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,

the wind of banners

that passes through my life,

and you decide

to leave me at the shore

of the heart where I have roots,

remember

that on that day,

at that hour,

I shall lift my arms

and my roots will set off

to seek another land.

But if each day,

each hour,

you feel that you are destined for me

with implacable sweetness,

if each day a flower

climbs up to your lips to seek me,

ah my love, ah my own,

in me all that fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love, beloved,

and as long as you live it will be in your arms

without leaving mine...

hhhmm… I’ve posted this earlier but I failed to explain why… but here it is now…
uhm,this is a poem by Pablo neruda, one of the world’s most renowned poets… well, I need not explain why I chose this, because I know for sure that those who know me really well would know exactly why…

this is for Orby: as you said we are only passing each other’s lives mainly to leave a mark- a very valuable lesson that is. I couldn’t help but agree… yes, People come and people go… that is inevitable. It is a fact of life that everything that begins has to end. And if it is for us to end then so be it. If you ask that I may leave you alone in peace, then I will (even if I don’t want to)… And if you wish to leave me, then do so. Don’t think of what I’ll feel or how will I go on… coz certainly time will heal it all and I’ll be able to carry on. Though, it’ll take an awful lot of time.. I’ll agree if that’s what you think is the best for us. I don’t have to disprove anything, provided that I’d be given a reasonable cause. I’ll be in pain of course, I’ll be a hypocrite if I don’t say so… I may wallow in sadness for quite a while.. but maybe I can go on along just fine. I may be haunted by sweet memories but I may forget them.. I may walk around faking smiles… I may lament and mourn for a while… but maybe time will make me forget… time can erase it all… maybe I can recover after such fall… yes, if you forget me… it’ll hurt but I’m going to be fine… but if ever you need me back I’ll never decline…

the gain when all things are lost

i'd like to share a poem by edgar allan poe.. take time to read it and explore a world on your own. realte it to who you are and be ready for a realization that you have never been subjected to before... read on.

"Dream Within A Dream"

by edgar allan poe


Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save One
from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

--->haven't you thought of these things? haven't these questions crossed your mind? haven't you realized that some things must really be lost? yes, you heard me right. lost. life? it takes an awful lot of sacrifices- be it material or even worse something more important like your talents, gifts, capabilities, personality and even your passion. life isn't fair whoever told you that life is fair is an outright liar. we have to lose things- essential things. for having lost something would make you realize its true value. we often are far sighted and blinded by things that surround us,not knowing that more valuable things are just right at or faces staring at us. we really have a lesson to learn that what is essential is invisible. we only can appreciate things once it's taken away. we have to risk, we have to...sacrifice, we have to suffer, we have to bleed, we have to weep, we have to get down and creep, we have to lose everything and give until nothing is left... such sacrifice is repaid by wisdom, understanding, appreciation, knowledge, strength that no one, no book, no human can ever teach except life itself.

a versifier? i still (though frustratingly) believe i am...

to write... by far it is the best thing i can say i do. to write is my passion, it is my air... the air i breathe... the food that feeds my soul... the blood that runs through my veins.... the every bit constitutes my being... it is this that makes me whole... yes, to write makes me alive. yet it so depressing that almost every important person in my life discouraged me to do so.... why can't they understand that writing (atleast for me) is life itself? how could they deprive me of such life i long to live? how?! i dealt with every inquiry as to why i can't let go of writing...yet still no one understood... no one understood!!! is it so hard to understand is it?! now teel me...any fool you could see roaming in the streets consumed in their bewildering,overwhelming thoughts would still agree with me!!! yes, they would... hhhmmm... the main thing i would like to stress out is this(read carefully!!!)--- still i can't comprehend why such overwhelming odds interfere with my longing to write? i intend to hurt no one, destroy no one... all i wanted is to simply write... that's all... that's all i've ever wanted in my whole life... why can't you let me? wwwwwwwhhhhhyyyyyyy???